$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
