But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
