Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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