In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
