he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
