he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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