what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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