I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
