So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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