Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
