if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
