also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
