I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
