I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
