I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.