Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

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(207): View more from Maine

I think we should see other people.

(1-207): View more from Maine

Already working on it.

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(540): View more from Virginia

i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(843): View more from South Carolina

By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home

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(613): View more from Ontario

You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers

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