Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good