Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?

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  (636): I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me? http://tfl.nu/6q93
  Replies (7) Good night (1435) Bad night (634)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

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  (218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus http://tfl.nu/il4r
  Replies (12) Good night (1189) Bad night (1437)
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  (650): View more from California

  im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt

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  (650): im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt http://tfl.nu/myrk
  Replies (35) Good night (722) Bad night (4532)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"

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  (401): I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes" http://tfl.nu/jvdp
  Replies (14) Good night (4990) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"

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  (774): I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile" http://tfl.nu/3hji
  Replies (10) Good night (766) Bad night (3649)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried

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  (512): you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried http://tfl.nu/gu6n
  Replies (131) Good night (6349) Bad night (7556)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.

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  (619): found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham. http://tfl.nu/ri7m
  Replies (15) Good night (2838) Bad night (1490)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

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  (519): You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you. http://tfl.nu/7uzq
  Replies (5) Good night (1980) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh God.

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  (919): DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT??? (1-919): Oh God. http://tfl.nu/z02g
  Replies (20) Good night (4826) Bad night (847)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

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  (540): AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA http://tfl.nu/16eo
  Replies (2) Good night (1771) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone

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  (678): I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone http://tfl.nu/6u3c
  Replies (2) Good night (997) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.

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  (315): He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition. http://tfl.nu/pnv9
  Replies (8) Good night (1210) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.

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  (334): I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system. http://tfl.nu/d0ap
  Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.

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  (615): Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it. http://tfl.nu/lqyz
  Replies (4) Good night (404) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner

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  (813): Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner http://tfl.nu/zbhu
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (381)

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