dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i need some magic done to my vagina
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.