just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize