what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
