I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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