your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
