She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
