I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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