now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
