The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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