I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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