I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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