i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
