I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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