the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize