yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
