Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize