I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
