used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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