Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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