I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
