Is it normal to miss your booty call?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just googled if crying burns calories
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
