butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
