i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
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My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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