I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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