We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
