What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
