people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
