sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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