Plan B is the new Plan A
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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