I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
