i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
