That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
