just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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