11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
