i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
