There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
