not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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