I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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