Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
