we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
