why didn't you poke me back
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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