1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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