Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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