What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize