I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize