I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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