He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
