Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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