Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
not ubering you a puppy
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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